Absolute Terror
by tumble and fall
Summary: Garcia convinces the rest of the BAU to join her in watching a horror movie. Hilarity ensues.


"It can't be that scary. Did you know that some psychologists believe that the reason that we enjoy watching horror films is due to the brain realising that there is absolutely nothing we can do about the terrors on the screen? It relaxes the brain, oddly enough."

Despite several pointed glares from around the room, Dr Spencer Reid continued to talk; spouting facts between fistfuls of popcorn from the large pink bowl nestled in his lap. The members of the FBI's Behavioural Analysis Unit were all curled in various positions on Penelope Garcia's sofa, the flickering images on the television screen the only light source in the room. Various protests had been made throughout the week, but Penelope had finally managed to convince each and every person in the team to join her in what she had dubbed 'a super-scary fest of absolute terror'.

"Take a car, accident, for instance," Spencer continued, completely oblivious to several people in the room rolling their eyes in protest as he pulled a stray strand of hair from his face, "Our fight-or-flight complex encourages us to look at what can only be described as complete carnage, only because it is something that we can protect ourselves against. A horror film, on the other hand, will show us dramatized versions of real life that can't possibly exist. The brain realises that the images on the screen are of no threat whatsoever, so we don't have to do anything about them. Hence the fight-or-flight complex is dulled, and we enjoy what we see on the screens, even though it would horrify us if it ever happened in everyday life."

"Reid, for the love of God, please shut up."

Spencer glared at Derek Morgan, who was leaning against Penelope with a bored expression painted across his face. Penelope smiled mischievously, untangling herself from Derek's limbs and picking up a second bowl of popcorn, this one decorated with crudely-drawn flowers that Penelope had been incredibly proud to announce that she had painted herself. She delved her hand into the popcorn, the irritating rustling drowned out only by the dischordant first notes of the violin duet that signalled the DVD menu.

"Usually, I would encourage your brain vomit honey, but this is a movie. You are exactly the type of person I throw sticky popcorn at in the theatre."

To prove her point, Penelope licked a piece of popcorn and threw it - with perfect aim - at Spencer. He scowled as it hit his nose, rubbing the spot where the sweet snack had landed to get rid of the residue that Penelope's spit had left behind.

"Antics like that are also deflections of real emotions. You're only trying to mask the fact that you're secretly terrified," Spencer muttered, retaliating in the only way that he knew; spouting facts. Besides, the bowl of popcorn in front of him was rapidly decreasing in weight; throwing any would risk a full-scale popcorn war and Spencer preferred to eat his snacks as opposed to using them as mini-missiles. Penelope merely scowled, pressing the 'play' button on the remote and curling further into her sofa. The screen went completely dark, the only light in the room being the soft pulsing of the light on Penelope's charging laptop. Even Spencer stopped talking, choosing to instead focus on the screen with almost unyielding attention.

A deep voice resounded through the apartment, causing several people to jump although none more amusing than the unit chief of the BAU, Aaron Hotchner. He had jerked so violently that the bowl of potato chips he and Jennifer Jareau were sharing had spilled all over the floor and rolled under the coffee table. Penelope groaned, but didn't move from her seat and fellow agent David Rossi chuckled at the unlikely reaction from the usual emotionless Aaron. The seventh and final member of the team, Emily Prentiss, also smiled, but her initial reaction wasn't one of happiness. She knew that this was a goodbye party of sorts – her impending move to London would cause nights like these to be virtually impossible to organise. Nonetheless, she was putting the feeling that she had done the wrong thing behind her tonight, only focusing on the immediate hilarity that would ensue if this was how Aaron would react to the first line of the film.

"Honestly, Aaron, it's just a film. Didn't you listen to what Reid was saying?" David teased. The veteran FBI agent had already seen the film in question and was not at all worried about making a fool of himself by jumping and upsetting the glass of wine cradled carefully within his hands. Aaron was frowning now, dusting the crumbs from his trousers much to the dismay of Penelope. She had agreed to host the night on the strict instruction that her apartment stayed spotless. With Aaron's outburst, it looked as if she would be picking smashed chips out of the carpet for weeks.

"It said it was a true story at the beginning," Aaron muttered as he attempted to cover up his embarrassing actions. Most of the team were in fits now; even Spencer had managed to crack a smile at his boss's misfortune.

"The basis of the idea is a true story. The plot, however, has been twisted and warped to suit the appetites of your average movie-watcher," Spencer explained with a chuckle, "So you should be fine. Besides, we aren't anywhere near Amityville. You're safe. For now."

"Okay, can we please be quiet, it's already started," Aaron said slowly, trying to divert attention away from himself as he settled into the sofa and trained his eyes on the screen.

"Yeah, shut it, all of you. I want everyone to watch every second of this movie and go home with nightmares," Penelope chuckled evilly through a mouthful of popcorn. The team fell silent; all eyes focusing on the house on the television, lights all on as if involved in a police raid. Penelope snuggled closer into Derek and smirked. Aaron wouldn't be the only one to show himself up that night, and Penelope was sure of it.

***

Penelope yawned loudly as she closed the lid of the swing bin with a loud 'whumph'. The film had finished an hour ago and her friends had bid her farewell, Aaron apologising once again for the mess that surrounded his chair. Penelope had waved this off, thanking her boss for joining them. She had then set about clearing up, not quite ready to head to bed yet. She had seen _The Amityville Horror_ more times than she cared to think about, but she still felt slightly uneasy. After all, it was dark out and she was all alone.

After sweeping the remaining crumbs under her sofa with one fluffy slipper-clad foot, Penelope decided she would call it a night. Checking all of the curtains were closed fully, she started at the door to her apartment, locking it securely whilst flicking the main light off. Next on the agenda was the darkened run to her room, almost entangling her hair in the beaded curtains hanging from the doorframe as she tried to avoid standing on anything that would cause her intense pain the next morning. She dived into her bed, thankful for the small bedside lamp that she always kept on. Enshrouding herself in blankets and duvets, she snuggled into the warm fabrics, ready for a long and carefree sleep.

That was until the resounding knock on the door echoed throughout the apartment.

Usually Penelope would discard it, thinking rationally that someone had left something behind; keys, a phone or perhaps a wallet. However, mind working overtime due to the nature of the film she had just watched, Penelope's head shot up from her cloud of fluff as her heart raced. Suddenly terrified, Penelope contemplated just ignoring the person standing in the hallway, happy to hide in the many throes of her bed and leaving them to their business in the apartment of one of her neighbours. Unfortunately, Penelope was too curious to ever leave anything be, so she grudgingly dragged herself from the warmth of her bed and wriggled her toes as she walked through the otherwise silent apartment. Opening the door quickly, she expected to see the main protagonist from the film standing in front of her, the pale blue cobweb of veins visible from underneath her paper-thin skin. Instead she was met with the intense gaze of Spencer, who looked a little paler than usual.

"I went to my apartment and I didn't even get halfway in the door," he babbled, his voice almost an octave too high, his words muddling into each other as he spoke, "It was dark and I thought I saw a figure in the shadows and I didn't know what else to do. You won't tell the others, will you?"

Penelope laughed loudly as she glanced at Spencer's darting eyes and wringing hands. She flicked the switch beside the door, bathing the young profiler in a warm fluorescent light.

"After all of the things you said tonight, you're scared of a silly film?" she asked with a chuckle. "Come on, I'll make you a mug of tea."


End file.
